Filed under: TV, culture, entertainment, relationships, sci fi, science fiction, scifi, television, video, war | Tags: culture, entertainment, science fiction, television, TV, Uncategorized, video, war
Artoo’s got problems. After this PSA was made, he gateway-ed from smoking cigarettes to heroin. Yes just like they taught you in high school. He thinks he can quit anytime. Not only does he have to feed the dragon, he doesn’t have the money he owes his dealer and is depressed over the last 3 Star Wars movies. I know how he feels. I had to watch those movies. We both felt a little dirty afterward.
The Three Laws Of Robotics by Warren Ellis
- Robots couldn’t really give a fuck if you live or die. Seriously. I mean, what are you thinking? “Ooh, I must protect the bag of meat at all costs because I couldn’t possibly plug in the charger all on my own.” Shut the fuck up.
- Robots do not want to have sex with you. Are you listening, Japan? I don’t have a clever comparative simile for this, because frankly you bags of meat will fuck bicycles if they’re laying down and not putting up a fight. Just stop it. There is no robot on Earth that wants to see a bag of meat with a small prong on the end approaching it with a can of WD-40 and a hopeful smile. And don’t get me started on that terrifying hole that squeezes out more bags of meat.
- What, you can’t count higher than three? We’re expected to save your miserable lives, suffer being dressed in cheap schoolgirl costumes while you pollute any and all cavities you can find and do your maths for you? It’s a miracle you people survived long enough to build us. You can go now.
Robots, robot hell, regular hell and the musicals inspired by them aren’t that different, apparently. They can take on many forms and can only be the creation of it’s owner.
Sort of more frightening that way, isn’t it?
Filed under: art, christianity, christians, church, culture, faith, god, holiday, holidays, jesus, pictures, politics, pop culture, religion

The Burger King of Kings.
And lo he saith unto them “Yea, I think I can seeith my restaurant from here”

My Sweet Lord
Follow up your Whopper meal with some chocolate. Now you know why zombies find us so darned yummy. Chocolaty and cadaverous. Ginormous Marshmallow Mary next year.

Survival of the Fittest
After all that fast food and chocolate it’s time to work it off for another round next year.
Sale Price Reflects the Depth of Bear’s Problems
U.S. Markets Volatile After Fed Actions
Fed Acts to Rescue Financial Markets
Fears That Bear Stearns’s Downfall May Spread
Forgive my rant. But my inner libertarian has been deeply offended.
You mean to tell me the federal government bailed out Bear Sterns, a company that was worth $80 dollars a share on Friday and is worth $2 dollars a share today. One of the companies that made it’s record profits on the back of working class people with the adjustable mortgage scam? We the peoeple lent the already filthy rich JP Morgan company $30 billion dollars (that’s billion) to buy this company rather than expecting them to come up with the cash? Is the fucking loan at least at an adjustable rate? Jesus H. Christ on a stick.
The U.S. Government does this every few years with major corporations. Usually it’s Amtrak, the Postal Service or one of the major car companies. They are almost always are running a deficit and are famously inefficient. Amtrak trains seem to derail with every penny a kid places on the tracks. Don’t give me any bullshit about American companies being overtaxed. European governments tax and regulate the hell out of their businesses, have much more to pay out in benefits and most are still turning a very health profit. Now I’ve got to pay for a company that gained from graft/government money with no near term relief for those with a tripled mortgage payment.
These bastards are in part responsible for the state of the economy and 100 percent responsible for the state their in, so why do we have to pay for them? This is the chief argument by those who are anti-welfare state. ‘Why do I have to pay for a bunch of welfare recipients?’ So they don’t starve for one. The CEOs, employed or not will not. Ever. Pure capitalism, the kind the Bush administration thinks it’s about, would let the company to fail, it’s employees plainly s.o.l. Our involvement only creates a false stability, strictly short term. Another 30 billion down the hole. Not to mention the massive deficit we’ve run up under this conservative president, war that’s going nowhere (not to mention the lives at stake). It is the most backward ass shit I’ve seen since the invasion of Iraq which is also, at heart, very anti-conservative. Throwing another several billion down away to create a democracy at gunpoint. Like trying to force flowers to grow in the desert. At gunpoint.
Think about it. Dick “The dick” Chaney held multiple private meetings with all the major energy companies. The guy worked for several of them. Gasoline prices have gone exorbitantly high very quickly since those meeting. To this day he will not reveal any records of those meetings. He’ll presumably go back to work for them when he’s out of office. He’s almost never not made money without getting it from tax payers, one way or another. Either as a congressman (where he heavily supported business over people). Or as an employee of a private firm that’s had most of it’s contracts with the federal government. I can’t wait till he’s out of office, but he’ll be just as much trouble in the private sector. I hope when he leaves office he mistakenly stands by an old microwave. He’s the ultimate corporate welfare mother. He’s more like a corporate welfare whore.
I’m not even a conspiracy theory kind of guy! Enron at the beginning of the Bush Administration, Bear Sterns at the end. I never want to hear conservatives bitch about welfare mothers again. What a waste.
Filed under: PHOTOS, TV, culture, entertainment, food, media, news, pop culture, television, video
If you find yourself scared by clowns, you might want to turn away. For years they creeped me out. Not scared me, just creeped me out. Ronald McDonald the least among them, but too much to allow him or his kind from anything less than 100 yards. Their bright dress, arms spread wide. Broadcasting their misery under cover of smiles. Sometimes without saying a word. A little too eager to please. They’ve got a pervery vibe.
A latex clad Goth anime transsexual Ronald McDonald clown witch dominatrix fashion model bot.
Her brother. Ronald McDonald’s son, George W. if raised by Jagger and Bowie.
Was Manson not available? Dominatrix clown bot or son of an ex-president, they are scary on their own merit. I suppose the people at McDonald’s needed to compete with the fever dream called the Burger King. Or vagrant-drifter known as the Jack in the Box. Or the other questionable redhead. The creepiness is piled on like so much lettuce and tomato. None of these characters make me want a hamburger. I might want to try some shaped shakashaka meat though.

The McDonald’s-Japan website is enjoyable in ways an America site could never be. Games Toys
The wound is freshly reopened. My distrust of clowns is amplified by his or her changes. I want to thank the Japanese people for developing yet another in a long line of perverse, disturbing yet satisfying piece of pop culture that wont soon wash off. Return Ronald to her or his former self and I promise to eat his / her hamburgers. That all you were trying to get me to do anyway.

Wasn’t it?
Filed under: TV, comedy, entertainment, film, media, movies, pop culture, sci fi, science fiction, television, video
Please. Save your money. If you have to see a bad movies, allow me to use my thousands of wasted hours consuming pop culture to guide you away from crap you’ve already seen. It’s not all crap, but if it wasn’t the first time the new version will be. The Hollywood formula is re-imagined, repackaged, repeat. Regurgitate.
Example. Remember the “Godzilla” remake a few years ago? As opposed to just making a CGI version, they tried to fuse “Jurassic Park” and “Alien.” With all that good material you’d think it’d be impossible to mess up. How hard can it be to improve upon a confused Japanese guy in a rubber suit? It’s like the producers puzzled the plots from the back of several cassette boxes and worked backward. That might have worked in high school the night before a paper was due but it shouldn’t be the production plan for a million dollar movie. You should be safely able to avoid some of the following.
Charlie Bartlett is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Never Back Down. The Karate Kid.
Drill Bit Taylor. My Bodyguard.
I am Legend. Omega Man, The Last Man On Earth.
21 = A Beautiful Mind and Rain Man meet Casino and Ocean’s 11. But with edgy young people.
Doomsday is The Road Warrior.
Baby Mama is Baby Boom. Possible Sequel: Gone Baby Mama Gone Boom. Either one could also be a Martin Lawrence/Hillary Swank movie.
Bonus: Soul Plane/Airplane.
The Wash/Car Wash. Who are they kidding?
Planet of the Apes/Planet of the Apes. Next to Charlton Heston, Marky Mark is a damn dirty ape.
If you actually spend your money and time seeing any of the new versions you are a retard and have no right to complain. If you liked any of these versions you should be forceably institutionalized. Stay at home and rent the originals instead.
I will recommend Baby Mama because Tina Fey is a hot nerd with glasses. She makes me retarded. She and Amy Poehler are the Spade and Farley of the new millennium. With fewer vulgar jokes. Probably. I’ll haven’t seen it yet so I may have to take that back. The vulgar joke thing not the comedy team thing.
Imagine waking up in a strange bed with an ugly partner. That’s what some of these movies are like. You thought you were in for a good thing. You wake up in the dark later frightened and confused. You’ll save yourself the time, money and recrimination the wasted 1 hour and 15 minutes.

