The madmonqs take Manhattan

The New World Trade Center Construction

Blue Skies Ground Zero

Pretty Building in a Ritzy Neighborhood

Time Square Naught 8

The Ghost of St. Patrick’s

The Lunch Lady of St Patrick’s

Heavy Metal Silk Screen Circa Middle Ages

At the Met

Inspiration for “American Gothic?”

Grand Central, bitches.

The Chrysler Building Down from Grand Central. Bitches.

The Chrysler Building

Top of the Empire State Building.  Around Midnight.

NYC Midnight

More here

They Saved Ann Coulter’s Brain

Occasionally I like to read Townhall.com. I don’t consider myself to be very liberal but more a liberal libertarian (Yes I stay confused). It’s kind of fun to read. Like the Wall Street Journal and National Review, it can be intellectually challenging in a way not usually found amongst the majority crap on the right. William F Buckley R.I.P.

Then there’s Ann Coulter. The Bizarro Maureen Dowd. Horseface of the Apocalypse. Mrs Fred Phelps. Snarky, smart and an evil dead harridan that is usually completely off base. I am compelled to read her column the same way the Nazis had to look into the Ark of the Covenant in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”. I don’t always disagree with her points, but they are so deformed by her custom made bile that you have to turn away.

In Indiana Jones and Whatever the Latest Peril Is, you can usually look forward to a seeing a Nazi getting his or her ass kicked. That’s the Nazi’s only redeeming quality; you can kill as many as you’d like (within fiction) and no one will blink an eye. Indy could pitch Nazis off of a cliff for an entire 2 hours and everyone would leave happy. Although at his age it seems unlikely (Indiana Jones and the Perilous

Hip Replacement Surgery in 2012!).

In that fine tradition I wanted to call Miss Coulter a Nazi, but that’d be too easy. Along with being a liberal, an elitist, (but no longer a commie, an insult I’ll miss), the ______-nazi has gotten a little cliche. As the all purpose insult suffix it’s lost some of it’s luster. You can be of the grammar, feminist or soup variety. Then I found this. Blondi may not have had a lot to do with the rise of the Third Reich, but her modern day counterpart seems determined to keep their spirit alive.

The only rational explanation for Miss Coulter’s existence is, like Hitler’s brain, some ancient evil saved Blondi’s brain and placed it under the assumed name and body of Ann Coulter. German shepherds are smart dogs but not as smart as a person. She salivates at the first sign of evil then sends it to her editor. She’s been trained to sieg heil as opposed to shake. The similarities are uncanny. Thus a new insult is born.

The Definition of Irony

The old definition…

an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.

And the new, confusing version…

Joshua Hoge, a schizophrenic confined to Washington state’s Western State Hospital, is claiming at least part of his late mother’s estate even though he’s the one who killed her in 1999. Washington law prevents profiting from the “unlawful” and “willful” taking of another’s life, but Hoge was found “not guilty by reason of insanity,” and the legal issue is still unsettled. Furthermore, according to a January report in the Seattle Times, it appears the mother’s estate consists almost totally of the $800,000 the estate won in a lawsuit against a county health clinic because it was negligent in delaying Joshua’s medications, which probably led to him killing her.

This is irony on steroids with a triple dismount. I feel like I’ve just got done programming the VCR and doing calculus. At the same time. It hurt my head. No one could make this up.

And This Bird You’ll Never Change

Can you believe I used to work with this guy? At a local telemarketing office. This was at the time I was lucky enough to get off the sales floor and into a cushy office job. Pushing papers yeah, but it beat trying to explain something I couldn’t understand to some haus frau. Least that’s what James said.

James is what he wanted to be called then, not Jim. He’d get pretty upset if you didn’t. Gave a different last name back then. I guess this was before he got the job at the Onion. He mighta been harsh about stuff, but like he always said life was harsh. In that, his drunken ways and wisdom gained by years of hard livin’, he showed me the secrets to the universe. He was a genius ’cause he said he was. He’d get mad if you said otherwise.

He talked about battles with his mom, the time he won money on the scratch off, the bands he liked, his music and poetry and how hard it was to be his kind of smart. Guess that’s why he was drunk a lot. To suppress his smarts so others wouldn’t feel bad about themselves. He never actually said that, but it sounds like something he’d do. Never actually stop him from sharing what he thought he knew, anyway. Going without a shirt can really better a man.

I’m sure his poems and stuff got him that Onion job. I don’t read the news myself. Gives me a headache and stuff, so you know I wasn’t reading no poetic rants. I had to hear him talk at work all the time. I thought cause maybe he gave me headaches he had to be a genius. Poetic or not he was always ranting, I mean ranting that we didn’t understand art or soul or something. I think he though of himself as a deep, soulful black man from the 1930s. The kind that traveled the back roads with a guitar, lived hard, played juke joints and made deals with the devil. Maybe he was mad and drunk all the time because he was stuck in the body of a dirty, drunk white guy with a homeless tan. Still, it made me smarter to be around him.

Glad he’s doing good. Must be if he’s got a Game Cube. Seems like he’s gotta work a few extra jobs to make ends meet but who doesn’t? Still hanging around with the band. They’re a true rock and roll band. All the trappings of a rock band with none of the success. I never knew living with your mom into your mid 40s was part of the rock ‘n roll lifestyle. She’s never really ever serious when she complains about the noise or tries to kick them out. They manage to make it look good. I’m just glad I had a chance to meet him. Now he’s a big time writer. Just hope he still remembers his old work buddies. I want a Game Cube, too and he still owes me money.

Signed,

Not a fan

Teen Accused in Plot to “kill Jesus” endorses Hillary

“He told the sheriff he wanted to die and go to heaven and once he got there, he wanted to kill Jesus.”

If shocking audacity were a super power I’d almost believe it was possible. Jesus must be a liberal if he’s willing to let a suicidal hitman into the heaven to take a shot at him. Barring that the list of challenges he’d have to overcome are considerable.

1) God is said to be all knowing. No surprise attack.

2) God is said to be all powerful. Therefore…

3) See one and two.  God can’t be killed.

4) Jesus has been killed at least 1 time before. Unless your a buddist, I think that’s all you get. Also contradicts one and two

The best shot this kid had was to borrow a gun from the Saint of Killers or create a rock so big that God can’t lift it. That’ll at least keep Him busy for a while. In the meanwhile the kid will be busy breaking rocks in prison somewhere.

Speaking of spectacularly large egos, destructive ambitions and perhaps not surprisingly, it was rumored that while giving statements to the authorities he endorsed Hillary Rodham-Clinton as the next president of the US of A.

From an unreleased transcript he was believed to have said, “Normally I’m a Dubya man. He was of course the greatest president of all time. But with him not running again (voting for) Hillary feels like a natural extension of his legacy. Slanderous, bombastic and testy, she also voted for the war in Iraq. She makes Ann Coulter look legitimate.”

In a related story the Horseface of the Apocalypse has all but endorsed Mrs Clinton as well. Solidifying her credibility as the best candidate for office. Though pursued by the Clinton people, Charlie Manson remains undecided.