They Saved Ann Coulter’s Brain

Occasionally I like to read Townhall.com. I don’t consider myself to be very liberal but more a liberal libertarian (Yes I stay confused). It’s kind of fun to read. Like the Wall Street Journal and National Review, it can be intellectually challenging in a way not usually found amongst the majority crap on the right. William F Buckley R.I.P.

Then there’s Ann Coulter. The Bizarro Maureen Dowd. Horseface of the Apocalypse. Mrs Fred Phelps. Snarky, smart and an evil dead harridan that is usually completely off base. I am compelled to read her column the same way the Nazis had to look into the Ark of the Covenant in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”. I don’t always disagree with her points, but they are so deformed by her custom made bile that you have to turn away.

In Indiana Jones and Whatever the Latest Peril Is, you can usually look forward to a seeing a Nazi getting his or her ass kicked. That’s the Nazi’s only redeeming quality; you can kill as many as you’d like (within fiction) and no one will blink an eye. Indy could pitch Nazis off of a cliff for an entire 2 hours and everyone would leave happy. Although at his age it seems unlikely (Indiana Jones and the Perilous

Hip Replacement Surgery in 2012!).

In that fine tradition I wanted to call Miss Coulter a Nazi, but that’d be too easy. Along with being a liberal, an elitist, (but no longer a commie, an insult I’ll miss), the ______-nazi has gotten a little cliche. As the all purpose insult suffix it’s lost some of it’s luster. You can be of the grammar, feminist or soup variety. Then I found this. Blondi may not have had a lot to do with the rise of the Third Reich, but her modern day counterpart seems determined to keep their spirit alive.

The only rational explanation for Miss Coulter’s existence is, like Hitler’s brain, some ancient evil saved Blondi’s brain and placed it under the assumed name and body of Ann Coulter. German shepherds are smart dogs but not as smart as a person. She salivates at the first sign of evil then sends it to her editor. She’s been trained to sieg heil as opposed to shake. The similarities are uncanny. Thus a new insult is born.