4 Anniversaries and a Presidency

On our 4th wedding anniversary my wife and I stood in the drizzle and the cold to vote for the next President of the United States.  There were other people and things on the ballot, but sort of like a good actor in a bad movie we knew we were all there for one thing.  One reason to stand in the rain.  Voting for president.

There was a pretty long line, it took about an hour.  Everyone was patient, pleasant and kind.  A calm fell over the crowd, convincing me again that church is anywhere you make it.  We’re fine as a secular nation.

There is no place else I’d rather have been.  Standing in the rain, huddled under a tiny umbrella with my wife, standing close to her.  Looking at her.  Celebrating our politics, our shared beliefs and feeling lucky.  Still believing in this thing so deeply that there’s no doubts.  About us or anything.  Still hoping to make a difference and in love with the idea of trying.  There is no place I’d rather have been.

A PUMA Halloween: The Curse of Voting for McCain / Palin

Before: Hillary Supporter

After: Crazy McCain Supporter

She’s really gone downhill between campaign rallys.

That what happens when you go from supporting Hillary to supporting McCain.  Holding a grudge when you lost fair and square.  Not being able to let go of the past and look to the future. You go from supporting causes that represent your ideas to stuffing envelops in the Midwest and eating cat food from your neighbors side porch. You get the mike yanked out of your hand.  Think it’ll be any different if McCain wins office?

That’s the McCain / Palin Curse.  If you don’t realize the error of your ways by midnight, October 31st, you will go completely crazy by November 4th.  You’ll be forced into the shadows.  Propelled by anger and spite, you’ll frighten conservatives and liberal alike for the rest of your days because of your twisted political experiment. If you change your ways and vote Obama / Biden on November 4th, you will look crazy for the rest of your life but you will save your immortal soul.

Otherwise you’ll have found yourself in the unique position of using the power of democracy to oppress yourselves, not cure a nation. The Master Karl Rove will be pleased.

As for everyone else.  If you don’t have any ideas the Screaming-Ex-Hillary-Supporter-now-Crazy-McCain-Rally-Lady would make a great Halloween costume.

You have been warned.

Otis the Drunk for Obama

Whereas pop culture TV is concerned, this is like the Beatles getting back together.  If you don’t know what that means, go away.

Old men humilating themselves for, if some are to be believed, an anti American, fringe candidate. Taking good wholesome old people TV shows and twisting them for the vast left wing agenda! What’s next? Archie Bunker for Obama? Cartman for Obama?

Seriously.  2 older, one elderly famous men reprising the rolls they left behind.  Decades ago.  Fans clamoring for them to do more and this is how they do it.  To promote a minority liberal terrorist who probably wants to make babies gay.  They are trading on their good image, good reputation and sense of dignity.  They have nothing to gain and are not getting paid for it.  See what I mean?  That’s amazing to me.  It’s nice to see Opie and Andy, Richie Cunningham and the Fonz get back together.  Maybe things will get better.  It’s nice to feel that way again. After years of…otherwise.  To say the least.

Someone say “Yes We Can!”

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America’s Next Top Dominatrix:The Thriller From Wasilla Red Leather Jacket Extra Special Edition!

This year’s America’s Next Top Dominatrix Sarah Palin

The inspiration for and first year’s winner, Debra Cagan

See also America’s Next Top Dominatrix Halloween Special

Palin been called the Transvestite George W. Bush and ‘Ho Sixpack (mostly by me).  She’s been called more popular than Barack Obama.  Also been called less experienced and now a drag on the party ticket.  She’s pretty much called New York City Anti-American based on nothing, but evidently terrorists and the places they attack have great taste in clothing.

The Trophy Vice is always going on about her blue collar roots (Although her hair looks black I’ll take her word for it), she now has a snazzy red leather jacket to do it in.  And a wardrobe (presumably) paid for by Republican donations to the tune of $150,000!  And the McCain Campaign is broke why?  The jacket alone makes her this year’s America’s Next Top Dominatrix.

Palin’s B.S. about refusing the “Bridge to Nowhere” (but keeping the money for the state).  And charging Alaska for various trips outside the state (did we forget she sold the private jet she could have been using at a loss?  Yes we did, apparently) and for living in her own house.

Not only does she buy her wardrobe in terrorist loving NY (you know, where the real terrorists chose to attack), she now known to hang out with them,  What do I mean?

McCain really is friends with G. Gordon Liddy. Liddy has spent time in prison, helped bring down President Nixon and has advocated violence against the US Government. One of McCain’s employees lobbied for Saddam Hussain in the 1990s.  Ew. Don’t believe me, look it up.

Palin’s husband was a member of an Alaska political party who’s founder openly discussed his hatred of America and allied with Iran. Where there terrorist-are-at-Iran, not No-WMDs-Iraq.  Gov Palin sent regular greetings to their conventions.  I am not making any of this up.  Look up Joe Vogler, Iran and the Alaska Independence Party.

Several high profile republicans served on the same board as Obama and Ayers. If there is guilt by association then McCain and Palin are guilty as charged.  Based on that logic Palin is guilty of also being a communist because she lives close to Russia.  8 year old’s are responsible for breaking lamps, not adult terrorists.

Now if that doesn’t bother you, fine.  I’m wondering what Sarah, Plain and Dumb fan base thinks about Palin’s religious affliations. Specifically the traveling preacher who’s blessed her candidacy, making her by extension a God endorsed candidate.  He was a frequent visitor.  The guy also specializes in witches.

That’s right. Witches.

What?

On top of that he fights crime.  Not in tradition garish costume and a boy counterpart way.  Not in the less fun but considerably more practical po-po, 5-0 at yo doh (police) way.  He prayed away a spirit of witchcraft over a city and claims the crime rate went down.  Also closed bars.  So there are some drawbacks.  Still he did get to use supernatural powers.  He is useful in finding WMD’s.  Witches of Mass Destruction.  Ha!

Meanwhile Palin names her kids after witches. “Willow” (from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer“) and Piper (from the TV series “Charmed.”)  Not purposefully but she’s not helping things either.  At least not for the Republicans, anymore.

Lastly she’s been called “A Present day Esther“(See also). I’m not sure what that means but I consider it an insult to the previous Present day Esther.  Aunt Esther from “Sanford and Son”.

How is that a complement other than LuWanda Page kinda looked like a pit bull?  I guess that makes McCain Fred G. Sanford.

I’d like to thank Mr Sanford for hoisting Palin into the spotlight.  Without his sound judgment she’d still be an inexperienced, terrorist, tranny witch hunter wing nut from the arctic without a clue.  She is now much more than that.

She is America’s Next Top Dominatrix!

Sorry Minnesota Representative Michelle Bachmann.  Maybe next year?

Family Guy Defines Fox Family Values

Did ‘Family Guy’ Go Too Far With Nazi ‘McCain’ Pin?

If it’s good for the Muslim, it’s good for the Nazi.

The Fox Entertainment Network is owned by Rupert Murdock.  It’s been on the air for years.  The network has been heavily criticized for it’s low budget, low format programming and big ratings.  We have them to thank for such family viewing as Temptation Island, Paradise Hotel, Paradise Hotel 2, Forever Eden, Playing it Straight, The Swan, Married with Children, The Simpsons and the controversy of the moment: Family Guy.  Conservatives and Christians have claimed it to be contributing to the decline of Western Civilization and the end of the world.  It’s taken over 20 years for the world to end.

Then there’s the Fox News Channel.  Owned by Rupert Murdock, run by the shady Roger Ailes.  Both confirmed conservatives.  The channel has been accused of a conservative bias at the least, lately hysteria filled propagandists on the right.  Christians and Conservatives praise its fair reporting and it’s right wing emphasis.

So it shouldn’t be a surprise that the base, derogatory and accidentally funny “Family Guy” managed to embarrass and insult the network by calling the McCain / Palin ticket Nazis.  It is surprising the same people who are bitching about the entertainment content like the news channel as if they were unrelated.

The irony is lost on the right.  The fair and balanced network has been selling it’s crap to Joe Sixpack on one channel to finance it’s addiction to Nazi bullshit on the other.  Or maybe it’s vice versa?  At any rate for those who call yourselves conservative, please continue to buy the contridiction of the Fox Networks.  Complaining about one part and supporting the other.   If you believe what they say, you are giving away your own stupidity and buying it back at twice the price.  Can you now see why we’re in the mess we’re in?….Worth a try, though.

Happy Thoughts. Newish Music. The Black Kids

Don’t ask me why he says “You are the girl that I’ve been dreaming of, ever since I was a little girl.” Probably just because. Yes the lead singer sorta kinda sounds like the Robert Smith of The Cure. The back up singers on other songs sound like the B52′s. The synthesizer and guitars rock something from the 1960s and 1980s. Like the B’s and the Cure. A little bit traditional style rock. And a lot of unaffected sugary pop goodness.  That’s where it’s at.

As of a year ago their sound was a bit heavier,  Not as crowd friendly but friendly indeed.  A recording contract will do that.  I hope they make it big someday.

Sorry about the commercial.  Maybe you need some Mr Clean?

Either way I’m going to return to loudly complaining about McCain and Palin’s rock bottom bottom feeding behavior. Later. Soon.

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Federal Bailout: True Patriot Edition

Above military service, public service, paying down the national debt and ignoring his mistakes, W Bush’s admonition after September 11th was to spend money.  That’s right.  Thank goodness there are still people out there with money to waste.  I’ve got a list of ways you can be a better American.  Be patriots.

Nepal Everest Information

Everest Expedition Group

Mountain climbing permits range from $10,000-$25,000.  Foot reattachment surgery or transport of dead climbing party member down the mountain is extra.  If you see the Abominable Snowman, your trip is free!

NYC Parking Space

In Houston, $225,000 will buy a three-bedroom house with a game room, den, in-ground pool and hot tub.  In Manhattan, it will buy a parking space. No windows, no view. No walls.

$225,000.  If you want to park your car in Brooklyn it’s a relatively cheap at $50,000.  You can use the savings for a trip to Mount Everest and resulting foot reattachment surgery.  Despite the cost, living in a NYC parking garage with no windows, walls or view still beats a house in Houston.  I’m just saying.

University Of Georgia College Football

First-time season ticket-buyers had to shell out more than $10,000 this year to get into Sanford Stadium, the sixth-largest on-campus stadium in the United States with 92,746 seats.

$10,000 for 12 college level football games.  College level!  Can you believe it?  It’s like you’re saving money!  3 of those games are against really bad teams to guaranteed wins and create the illusion of money well spent.  Bowl games are extra.

For those of you who aren’t as patriotic I’ll try to explain it.  The most important part of paying thousands of dollars to watch future used cars salesman incur crippling injuries is that when they lose, you complain about it like it matters.

If you still have money that needs wasting, the best way to do that is by watching the football game.  About a mile away from the stadium.  In a parking lot!

Tailgate Station

One-time purchase price of a parking space for use up to 6 times a year. $20,000
$$ – Will increase to $21,500 effective Sept. 3, 2008 -$$

Restroom use is included in the price!*

I guess Bush is the biggest patriot of us all.  We’re trillions of dollars in debt with billions owed to China and Saudi Arabia.  Call him George W Washington. 

*Number 2 is extra.

Bipartisan Work Avoidance

I need to lighten things up some more.  Do like Congress.  Avoid work until slightly before you are about to be caught by playing the free form free falling candidate game.  Choose Bush, Obama, McCain, Hillary Rodham Clinton and Palin.  Choose Obama on November 4th.  Biden not included.

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

Or finger paint, internet style. Some people call it Jackson Pollock. I call it hours of hypnotic fun and more work avoided.  Click once to change colors.  Then sell it for thousands of dollars.

http://www.jacksonpollock.org/

Please goof off responsibly.  Beret not included.

Reasons to Love and Hate Best Week Ever.com

Caption this here. Or here. Or here if you want to.  Then there’s this.

Naked Clown Calender.com Home Page

Check the link to see pictures if you want.  Even if I had standards I wouldn’t post a picture.  I still have to work here.

The money goes toward Multiple Sclerosis research.  That’s good and true.  Really it is. But (and I am being sincere here); why would you sell something for charity that has all the appeal of a dismembered and diseased penis?  They at least could have colored their junk in happy clown colors.  The phrase “naked clown” or ”clown junk” shouldn’t even exist in the human imagination.

Democrats Revenge – The Biden/Palin Vice Presidential Debate

Republican

Love money
Hate but tolerate children
Traditional values
Don’t see the point in “nature”
And most of the rest of the world
Claims to have read the Bible at some point.  Will have one in the home even if they are not Christian.
Usually old, white, male and angry but not always
Believe God had something to do with the creation of the United States of America to justify all of the above.
Are mostly threatened by anything that is not the above
Undeniably love America in their own simple way

Democrat

Like money
Like kids unless they are in the womb
Values range from traditional to “questionable”
Loves trees like a documentary on lattes
Would like to buy the world a coke, and keep it company
Would buy the Brooklyn Bridge if offered.  Then be fooled into buying it again.
Talk too damn much
Have read books other than the Bible
Mostly old, white, male but trying not to be a-holes about it.
They…ah hell.  Just read this. They’ll deny it but it’s true
Undeniably love America in their own simple way

One of the major differences is in learnin’.  Democrats don’t mind it, Republicans are repulsed by it like vampires from garlic.  It didn’t used to be the case.  Before bankrupt budgets, ignorant and poorly planned wars/nation building and compassionate conservatism, you were allowed to go to school, get an education, read a newspaper and still be thought of as conservative.  Somewhere between Reagan and Bush Jr. (bankrupt budgets, illegal wars/nation building and compassionate conservatism) that all changed.  Repubs now rely on the notion of a Joe Sixpack, a reg’lar guy, boosting the ticket.  Thus Palin.

The Dems, like the rest of us, have patiently, sometime too patiently, chaffed under the Rule of Dumb.  After 8 years of ‘gut thinkin’  most Americans are ready for the old fashioned kind to retake it’s rightful place.  Dems believe in getting an education, then using it (How they use it is a different story). But it’s an area that they have some dominance. Kerry beat Bush in the 2004 debates.  And Cheney had a slight edge over Edwards.  But Bush won the election so it makes little difference.

Senator Joe Biden

He earned an undergraduate degree from the University of Delaware in 1965, then a law degree from Syracuse University in 1968. A political prodigy, he was only 29 when elected to the Senate in 1972. He has been elected five times since: in 1978, 1984, 1990, 1996, and 2002. A member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee since 1975, Biden has carved out a reputation as a brainy and talkative expert in international relations.

See? Democrat.

He’s debated Hillary Rodham Clinton several times.  A little like getting into a pit to wrestle a bear, for God’s sake.   Palin went to 4 schools to finally get her degree in Communications-Journalism.  Two of them were community colleges.  More is probably known about Palin experience than Biden’s.  Probably because her personality is more entertaining, her career so abbreviated.

Nothing wrong with that.  Except if you are running for the Vice Presidency.  Compare the backgrounds of Biden and Palin and it’s no debate.  After years of blatant stupidity and childish tantrums passed off as Presidential behavior, Dems have an overwhelming advantage to embarrass their foes.  Though they’d never admit it, I can feel it in the liberal hive mind.  Thinking one thought about the vice presidential debate.

Crush her.  Finish them.

Maybe it’s just me.

UPDATE: Biden didn’t bring up the Bridge to Nowhere or the money she kept from it.  Didn’t bring up leaving her town in debt or her national security experience by being able to see Russia from her house.  He talked a lot.

Palin made no great errors, then got a little more bold toward the end.  Always looping back to “hockey mawm”, family values and reminding us that America wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for John McCain.

Palin won.  Because she didn’t lose.  But she’s little more than a trained monkey.  Left to her own devices she’ll go back to throwing poop and eating mites out of McCain hair.

But by not looking any dumber, she won.