Filed under: TV, art, church, culture, entertainment, family, holiday, holidays, love, media, music, news, pop culture, television, video
Dick Clark, 79, is still rockin’ New Year’s Eve
Who are the people between the ages of that key demographic staying at home to watch Dick Clark and his Geriatric Light Orchestra? For some ill advised reason a few years ago we stayed at home to witness Mr. Clark bravely droop his way into another new year. Coupled with the uninspired music of such greats as who the fuck is that and Meatloaf, I felt a little like I was forced to visit an old age home with my church youth group on my birthday. But it’s good for families and little kids. We’re going out this year.
As I continue the tradition of not being part of the cool group I will not be able to attend the Of Montreal show in town at the 40 Watt which is the cool thing to do this year. I could find a way in but we’re going to the Krush Girls at Cine instead. A more than adequate replacement. Or so I’ve heard. Mostly we’ll be drunk. And that’s OK. Optimism is the new cynicism. Both are something that I’m well acquainted with. Drunkenness is the perfect synthesis of both. It’ll be a good year. Unless it isn’t. I’m not drunk enough to tell just yet.
Better than being drunk on optimism (almost better than the optimism that drunkness brings) is my wife. Whether it’d be a new year’s eve dance party or old age home visits it wouldn’t matter. A year, an hour, a moment is not the same without her. She improves every situation with her beauty, intelligence and humor. I’m not just looking forward to the night with her. I’m looking forward to the rest of my life with her.
Filed under: PHOTOS, animals, antifeminism, art, business, crime, culture, entertainment, faith, family, feminism, food, holiday, holidays, jesus, love, peace, picture, pictures, pop culture, toys
As opposed to “Injurious Girl.” This version doesn’t throw her cell phone at the help. They must’ve sold out of that one.
A troubled pregnancy.
Super bang roll sound yummy. Do not eat.
We used to play “Convenience Store Robbery” when we were kids, too. This was displayed with the play money and other children toys.
Now with more plastic! I needed the bling to go with my Shop N’ Rob accoutrement.
War is hell.
It’s a Charlie Brown Armistice. And he’s happy to see us. Who’s responsible for this?
New guidelines state that giant headed, mishapped grandmothers fit the description “multicultural”.
Good presents for bad kitties.
Tha after party.
Happy Christmas from everyone at madmonq’s joint.
Filed under: Obama, PHOTOS, animals, atheism, business, carny life, christian, culture, democrat, election, faith, family, food, humor, islam, mental health, news, picture, pictures, politically correct, politics, religion, republican
3 Year Old Hitler Can’t Get Name on Cake
Apparently they can say it but can’t spell it. So they went to the supermarket for help.
The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child’s full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance.
Tolerance was exhausted the minute this guy opened his meth mouth. See?
There’s a new president and he says it’s time for a change; well, then it’s time for a change,” the 35 year old continued. “They need to accept a name. A name’s a name.
There’s the problem. Sounds like he voted Democrat. He should rename the child “Barack Hussein Obama.” Problem solved. Although he probably complained it sounded too “a-rab-y.”
The sensible thing after not naming your child Hitler would be to bake your own god damned cake and learn to spell. That didn’t happen.
The Campbells ultimately got their cake decorated at a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania, Deborah Campbell said.
Oh well. That’s OK. Just when you think a state has gone blue…
A Wal-Mart spokesman told The Associated Press on Wednesday that in light of the incident, the company would review its guidelines regarding cake decorations and other requests.
Who are the retards that need policy guidelines for cake decorating? Limit racial slurs and try to color inside the lines? That should about cover it. “Other requests?” Midget hooker referral and body disposal? Organ harvesting and transport of both? Gold fronts for meth mouth sufferers? Not on my cake you don’t. Beside, Wal-Mart wont pay their employees overtime.
Other important stories the mainstream media is just too cowardly to promote.
Human sized heart left at car wash
PAW PAW, Mich. – A human-sized heart found at a southwestern Michigan car wash has investigators wondering whether it came from a person or an animal.
The organ was discovered in a corner of a manual wash bay at Soapy’s Car Wash, Paw Paw police said. The owner of the business found it Monday on the floor of the bay, according to WOOD-TV in Grand Rapids and WWMT-TV in Kalamazoo.
Tony Bennett got it all wrong. It was at Soapy’s Car Wash in Paw Paw, Michigan all this time. Duh. Now if we could only get him to shut up about it.
The best part of this story? Legitimate use all of those silly and/or dirty words in one article. Organ. Manual Wash. Soapy’s? Paw Paw. Wood. Grand Rapids. Kalamazoo. Michigan. Ha!
The last news story also spares no double entendre
Woman accused of trying to sell ‘Gothic Kittens’
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. – Humane officers said a Pennsylvania woman marketed “gothic kittens” with ear, neck and tail piercings over the Internet. Officers with the SPCA of Luzerne County removed three kittens and a cat from a home outside Wilkes-Barre.
“It’s unbelievable anybody would do this to kittens,” Morrison said.
It’s not that unbelievable. I can think of 2 or three people right off the bat who might be inclined to pierce a kitty. If they haven’t already. They’re just not dumb enough to sell them (I’m not one of them). See? There were like 4 double entendres in this paragraph alone.
Charges are likely against the homeowner, whose name was not released.
Why? To protect the identity of the kitty? Like it’s name isn’t Mr. Fluffy Bo Jangles or something cute like that. Now I want a kitty with that name.
The missing heart story is in “Paw Paw” “Michigan. Goth Hitler Cats is in Pennsylvania. Where they also decorate cakes in the name of the Third Reich. Coincidence?
P.S.
Holland Township man names son after Adolf Hitler
Abusive guardians, Heath Campbell said, used Bible verses to teach him to distrust blacks. If he questioned the guardians, he said, he was hit. He acknowledged he couldn’t challenge the guardians’ views.
He said (Campbell’s other children) Adolf Hitler, Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell (named after Schutzstaffel head Heinrich Himmler) would be able to make their own decisions about race.
Wussy liberal. The Goebbels baby is displeased.
Filed under: PHOTOS, antifeminism, art, business, culture, entertainment, feminism, humor, media, news, picture, pop culture, sci fi, science fiction, scifi, transhumanism, video
More scary video from the BBC.
It’s cool but there are precedents. Herbie Hancock and Robert Palmer did this like 20 years ago with the videos ”Rock It” and ”Addicted to Love“.
I re-remind you of Warren Ellis’s treatise on robot rights and of the perversions only men can dream. And will apparently. There is a whole school of thought called Transhumanism that some believe will help advance mankind. I can see applications for some with disabilities if they chose it. Otherwise someone please lend these idiots a copy of Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein.” It sounds like we’ll be fighting cyborg zombies in the near future. Actually that doesn’t sound so bad.
Now I prefer my robits on the big boneded side. B9 is fine! That’s a good looking robit.
Filed under: George W Bush, President, TV, conservative, crime, culture, democrat, entertainment, media, news, politics, republican, television, video
Eddie Murphy: Does anyone have a mother that would hit you with a shoe? I had a mother that would throw a shoe at you at the drop of a dime. And fuck you up wherever she was aiming. So by the time I was like ten, my mother was like Clint Eastwood with a shoe…
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081215/ap_on_re_as/bush
It wasn’t cool but you have to admit it was a little funny. Apparently this is show of disrespect in the Arabic world. Beats a car bomb.
Moab is my washpot; over Edom will I cast out my shoe: Philistia, triumph thou because of me.
Washpot = In most vile subjection.
Philistia = For you will lie and pretend you were glad.
Ew. This guy knew really knew about Bush and he didn’t even vote for him. If a motherly shoe throw and common sense couldn’t straighten him out then I don’t know if anything can.
Filed under: TV, entertainment, media, movies, pop culture, sci fi, science fiction, scifi, sports, television, video
A coworker forwarded this to me like 2 weeks ago. Then I found it posted at afronerd.com because afronerd is always like two steps ahead of the rest. I was going to post it earlier but then the dog ate my homework. Bit straight through the hard drive. Oh that Marley!
OMG Becky and Bruce Lee. Only you can continue to shock and awe mankind from decades in the past and from the dead. Add champion ping pong player via nunchucks to deceased time travelling kung fu bad ass on your list of superpowers.
