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The Great American God Complex: Lowered Expectations Edition

January 27, 2009, 9:26 am
Filed under: Barack Obama, President Barack Obama, atheism, carny life, christian, christianity, christians, church, conservative, crime, faith, god, great american god complex, humor, islam, jesus, news, politically correct, relationships, religion, the great american god complex

A story of a cloud and an unusual coincidence

It was Aug. 25, 1990. Brooks and her brother were visiting Musikfest, a multi-day music festival in Bethlehem, Pa., when she spotted the cloud formation. She tried to take a second picture of the extraordinary sight but the clouds already had moved.

When she returned home to Georgia, Brooks had the photograph enlarged and framed. She hung it in her bathroom. “My wallpaper in there is more blue than anything,” she said.

And

Brooks noted that she’d taken a picture of a cloud during her trip. That caught Snow’s interest. She also remembered photographing an unusual cloud formation during Musikfest.

“It was always my favorite snapshot,” Snow said. “I couldn’t believe I’d taken a photo like that to begin with because I’m not a photographer.”

Brooks told her to look at her cloud picture.

“It’s in yonder in the bathroom,” she said.

Snow went to check it out and gasped in wonder. “I said, ‘That’s my cloud!’

That night Snow went home and dug her cloud picture out. She scanned it and e-mailed it to Brooks.

The women agreed. It was the same cloud formation.

“We had to take these pictures within a millisecond of each other,” Brooks said. “God just doesn’t duplicate clouds.”

But there’s more. More you say?

Stray bullet lands in baby’s diaper

MEMPHIS, Tenn. – Authorities say a stray bullet landed in an infant’s diaper at a New Year’s Eve church service in Tennessee.

Jewell Anderson says she took her crying 7-month-old daughter, Mi-Asia, to the bathroom during the service at Greater Faith Tabernacle because the young girl started crying.

“I picked her up and tried to give her ‘binky’, ’cause ‘binky’ normally calm her down,” Anderson said. “But ‘binky’ didn’t work.”

Pastor Orlester Johnson’s explanation for the fact that Mi-Asia escaped without injury is simple: “She is blessed.”

Johnson said the theme of his New Year’s Eve sermon was “It still works”, and he says little Mi-Asia is proof. “Praise still works, prayer still works, faith still works.”

Mi-Asia’s mother says she’ll save the bullet as a keepsake for her daughter, a reminder of what she considers a miracle.

“I’m gonna keep the bullet, and when she gets older, put a chain on it.”

A picture of the sky is not the same thing as feeding thousands, healing the sick or the swearing in of a Communist Terrorist as President of the United States on Abraham Lincoln’s Koran. Is it? I can guarantee you that if you look into the sky during daylight hours there is someone else you know doing the same. 200 years ago that might have been considered mind boggling. Despite their best efforts, I expect the Pennsylvania Cloud twins live in the 21st Century.

You know things have gotten bad when almost getting shot is considered proof of God’s goodness. Not a peacefully sleeping child, the very picture of a miracle, but very nearly getting shot. Getting shot must mean it’s a Monday in her neighborhood. Isn’t a bullet landing in your baby’s diaper just a little more like getting shot, rather than not? You’d think God would avoid it all together while a mother is praising Him. An extra miracle for a New Year’s Eve celebration? Not if Ms. Binky is to be believed.

The only unexplained phenomenon I see here is that three miracles were placed in the last spot anyone think to look for it: the bathroom. Twice in the case of the bullet diaper. As special as one’s time in the bathroom could possibly be, it would not, could not be improved by photographic evidence of God’s providence. Maybe it’s just me but it sort of diminishes whatever God had in mind. Why would anyone think to place His goodness where the sun don’t shine? Bad taste and God seem to go together. As church tzochki goes (churchki?) a bullet from the blue beats the blue sky bathroom buddies every time.

Thinking the bathroom is the best room in the house to display God’s handiwork, that’s just messed up.

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The Secret Obama Masonic Other Ball

January 19, 2009, 8:10 am
Filed under: BSG, Barack Obama, George W Bush, John McCain, Obama, PUMA, President Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, TV, battlestar galactica, christianity, christians, conservative, culture, debate, democrat, election, media, politics, presidential inauguration, rant, religion, republican, television, video, war, writing

So Inauguration day is tomorrow and I just can’t wait. Once Barack Hussain Obama has been sworn in, I will again wish a heartfelt fuck you to those on the lunatic fringe who cannot admit their loss is complete. The past eight years and the fucking 24 hour tabloid news cycle (you hear this Fox/MSNBC?) has helped create a slanket of validity for the stupid thick enough to replace the ozone layer. The QVC news networks report anything salacious, they cannot wait for their next big cubic zerconia sale. Obama’s kids aren’t Mylie Fucking Cyrus NBC network. Back off.

The following lucid seizure does not necessarily express the views of madmonq’s joint, WordPress.com or it’s parent company, The Scheinhardt Wig Company. Remember, we all voted Obama. But it pretty much sums up the crack induced epileptic seizure from some on the left and right unhappy with anything Pre-President Obama says or does. Your parents were right about you people.

Regarding an alleged Masonic Ball in honor of Barack Obama. Be aware. This is not for children. It is for psychotics, vicious racists and Karl Rove.

You know how some people say “If (insert candidate) loses the election I’m moving to another country!” Repubs, neo-cons, racists, politically active Cougars, religious fanatics, Sarah Palin and other unmentionables, have I got a place for you!

The author is from Nauru. A country with no taxes, crushing unemployment, money laundering and the most obese people in the world. Perfect for the collection of rednecks, trash, corporate welfare mother fuckers and other fake conservatives that think they are the only real Americans and have come to dominate the Republican party. This rant is your new Declaration of Independence. I wish it weren’t so. Now is the time for fellow psychopaths to behave in an civilized manner or leave in short order. You’re welcome.

As for the rest of us, a bit of friendly advice.

We are in for tough times ahead. Insanity from people like Mr. Nauru, a big ass deficit and at least 2 ongoing wars is what we will be dealing with for the foreseeable future. Best to suit up as my wife would say and be prepared for worse, Obama fans. From the economy to terrorism to the kooks to the President himself.

If you listened closely during the election you’ll find Obama didn’t promise us a rose garden. If you listened closely. You will find he promised, at best, to live near one. His statement were infused with the kind of nuance that continues to confound his confused haters. The W Bush’s legacy replaced the rose garden with a patch of turd blossoms, leaving Obama with little to work with. My point in saying all that is to say this:

Imagine the United States of America is a very large ship, whether it’d be aircraft carrier, the Love Boat or Battlestar Galactica (let’s just say the Battlestar Galactica). After September 11th we the people were in shock. But with faith in ourselves, our people, processes and government decided to let the Captain of the Exxon Valdez take us anywhere he’d like. The results? We are now spilling more blood and treasure then our enemies is of theirs. An oversimplification but not as overly simple as George F’ing W Bush. As the Galactica is headed toward shipwreck, another Captain takes over.

It can take a long time to turn a large ship around. Steering cannot be done with only right or left turns only (It helps when the captain can tell his left from right). But the wiser person will know both directions are needed, one way will not fix everything. Turns to both sides are the wisest course. We’ve forgotten that. Thus, the crying from those on the left and right who prefer their head in their ass. It’s criminally stupid, just like the one we recently kicked out of office. Demos/Liberal need to be less fearful of bloodshed and controversy. Repubs need to resort less to bloodshed, false patriotism and think more, especially when they are too scared to shed blood themselves. If all you have to contribute is whining, shut the fuck up.

Use of power at any level with the best intentions can be hazardous. Use doesn’t necessarily mean abuse. We’ve pretty much confirmed Bush wasn’t able to use his given powers, much less assumed powers (warrantless wiretapping, extralegal courts, possible torture etc), wisely. The problems of the last eight years went from killing terrorists to making sure our president didn’t do their job for them. This is still a concern under Obama. I fear our new president is going to leave many of Bush’s new powers in place if for no other reason than to have the options available. Will they be used? Will they be abused? Best not to have the option? Better to be used wisely if at all.

If you really listened to Obama during the election you’ll know he was trying to be honest. Not always but with an frequency astonishing for a living person. The best political ploy was not a ploy at all. The quality of the grounding of the Battlestar Galactica matters as much as avoiding it altogether. If established in honesty and integrity that may be the best place to restart our journey. That’s what should have happened on September 11th 2001. It didn’t. That’s why you all elected the right person as President of the United States of America. Keep that in mind in the months ahead.

Otherwise there’s one more thing you should do in order to keep a healthy balance, rather than let the new population of Nauru do all the talking: Speak up. Speak up reasonably, get angry at times but never let anger be your focus. And never backdown. Ever. Gores lost the 2000 election not by the numbers but by trying to appear reasonable, then backing down. We lost complete control when we expected Bush & Cheney to do the right thing. Things might have been better had we not relented. That’s pathetic, and it shows by the meteor sized crater we now find ourselves in. We shouldn’t be squeamish in times as confusing and confused as ours. Whether it would be war or impeachment.

Things will get worse before they get better. I realize this post is full of metaphor, cliches and profanity. It’s the best I can do. I cannot imagine what fresh hell Obama will be dealing with every day. What you should recognize is it cannot be done by turning only in your favorite political direction. All options should still be on the table. The idea is, elect someone who will not abuse or misuse them. Someone who will use them more wisely. Let’s hope we’re closer to it this time. We have no choice but to succeed.

A video for the sore losers. OK. Here is the real thing. Either way, suck it.

From The New Republic: The New Man

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Last Supper Last Season

January 9, 2009, 11:14 am
Filed under: BSG, PHOTOS, TV, art, battlestar, battlestar galactica, entertainment, fiction, film, media, picture, pictures, pop culture, sci fi, science fiction, scifi, space, television, video

Battlestar Galactica has been drawing out it’s end for about 2 years now. Rather than answer questions and secure loose ends they continued to create new plot points, split and ignore others. The mystery is increased by long season breaks, a writers strike and the Sci Fi network multiple schedule changes and sparce rebroadcasts. They’ve gotta find time for “Boa” with Dean Cain. The show is past due. Time is past for such chicanery, the wait is nearly over. Friday nights at 10 PM is supposed to be the time when your head spins with plot intricacies and some special effects, not wondering if it’s worth the wait. All will be revealed? In 2009…Maybe.

All this has happened before and all of it will happen again. Considering the poor track record surrounding Sci fi/Fantasy television, the Sci Fi Channel and Battlestar is pushing it’s luck. Almost all science fiction shows have had to contend with the same problems: poor rating, budget cuts, low expectations from the studio but enthusiastic fans. Almost all shows since the original Star Trek have fallen victim to one or the other. The show may start off good, become overblown with hype then drop in quality. From there they are rushed to finish and end anti-climatically. Their creators jump from their slowing franchise resulting, not in a satisfying crash but a rolling stop. If they continue long after the shark jump, the show will be forgotten. Most don’t even get the chance. X Files managed to do all of these. Good sci fi tv cut short can only lead us to the darkest place of all: Fan fiction.

Good and Bad TV Shows Cut Down in their Prime

Firefly

X Files – Ended awkwardly. Another film 10 years after the last. Think of Guns and Roses ”Chinese Democracy.” It was about as long awaited and about as successful.

Almost any color version of Flash Gordon. Bad with an exception.

Almost any color version of Buck Rogers. Cheesy good / bad

The Original Star Trek – The Mother of us all. Cheesy good. At times excellent.

Quantum Leap. Good

The Hulk – Television and at least one film. Hulk bad.

Enterprise – It was the holodeck after all. We hope. WTF?

Sliders – High enthusiasm, low ratings. Cancelled twice. Very unevenly good.

Star Wars Episodes 1-3. Bad

Star Wars Episodes 4-6. Good. The extended universe is great.

The Original Battlestar Galactica. Bad even by 70s standards.

Futurama – Alive via DVD but barely. Still good.

The Story Teller – An amazing and misunderstood TV show. Best.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Amazing.

The Adventures of Lois and Clark. Not interested but looked good.

Star Trek: The Next Generation. One of the reasons the reimagined Battlestar has lasted as long as it has

Lost. Hear it’s very good most of the time.

The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman – There is no good reason they lasted as long as they did.

Dr Who. Time travel and high camp are a heady combination. Has lasted generations.

Heroes – started OK, got stronger then started smoking it’s own fumes. It’s suffered from several long show breaks and belief in it’s own hype. Poorer ratings and budget cuts to follow. To name a few. The show still has some life left but it’s quality and ultimate status is still up in the air.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Science_fiction_television#US_television_science_fiction

All this has happened before and all this will happen again.

I think Battlestar will break the cycle. But it’s certainly pushing it’s luck. Part of it’s success is due to it’s non-traditional take on the genre. It has more in common with the Sopranos than Star Trek (the Starpranos?). It’s also one of the few from that era able to maintain that sickly dark tone that makes abyss staring very sexy. More like Blade Runner meets the Sopranos.

What I’m most afraid of is creator Ronald Moore giving us a Soprano type ending. After years of tripping toward the finish line, long breaks and contract issues the Soprano’s ended with a clever “fuck you”. The show was always a little like that anyway. A gag ending would undermine the seriousness of the show and the progress television fiction and sci-fi has made because of it. I liked the ending, but that’s wont work for Battlestar. We’ve been duped into looking into the abyss for this long, they can at least tell us what’s at the bottom. If they wait any longer fans will only find ennui at the end. See Heroes.

For the record I predicted Gaieta as the final Cylon in 2007. He probably had an affair with Baltar back on new Caprica. Baltar’s a slut.

I predict the secret of the Cylons and the series as very simple. Cylons are really human. Not robots made flesh. But human. Why else would they act that way?