Live blogging from my phone,Dragon Con 2009. The title about sums it up.

Please check the Twitter feed for updates on the fever feed dream/nightmare that it is. I hate the crowds & massive, characteristic Dragon Con disorganization. As much as I love it.

Hopefully great pics of hot costume clad nerds at the Twitter.

See ya and thanks

madmonq

All of this has happened before.  And all of this shall happen again TV, film and music edition.

It’s more than a little premature for yet another remake of Battlestar Galactica.  Leave it to Hollywood to drain the well if they think there is money to be made.  Bryan Singer originally wanted to do a version in 2001. He is talented but 2 different versions of the same story in a relatively short time is a little ridiculous.  His take on Superman wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t well received.  Reboots and remakes seem to be more common now-a-days. That’s compared to out and out theft of ideas. That’s always existed too.

Original TV show producer and “creator” Glen Larson is known for such ‘80s era gems as the original Battlestar Galactica (Star Wars), BJ & the Bear (Smokey & the Bandit), Automan (Tron). More like cubic zirconias than gems.  It’s rumored Mr Larson wasn’t happy with the modern, successful and critically acclaimed version of his version of Star Wars and now wants to see it done right.  Er, make that redone right.  

In other words he was mad that the remake of his rip off wasn’t as good as his original rip off of another rip off, that was ripped off of Dune.  I think I’m dizzy. 

IF one is done by Bryan Singer, Ian McKellen would make a great Adama or Baltar. He brings the required gravatas and acting chops for any part and is a good start for casting. Starbuck should be a gay male. This’ll bring the 2 previous versions together and more importantly piss off the whine baby Dirk Benedict. In any incarnation, the character should be a bad ass mofo, of course.   Although all this may be a bit premature at this point.

While most of the 2003 series was overall, amazing, I’d like to see is if anyone could redeem it from it’s unexpectedly startling, amazingly alarmingly, terrifically bad confusing mess of a disaster that was the show’s finale. It was horrible. Just horrible. Even if it included an Adama/Tigh love scene (which would be awful considering the two actors we’d have to see naked) it would still make more sense than the actual finale (Adama’s big ole mustache, Tigh’s eye patch, the naval uniforms are a giveaway), Slash fan fiction would beat the hell out of what they came up with.  If so, bring it on. 

"Awww. His eye is sooo blue!"

If the point of the Battlestar finale was built around the notion of eternal recurrence, brilliant.  It’s hard to tell as it was horribly executed and a little too shallow to have made such a grand point.  Leaving out much of the substance and good will built up over 5 plus years, very few ends tied up and giving us a rushed package of a mess.  Perhaps The Plan will make up for it though it’s too soon to tell.

(By the by.  To speak out, however civilly, against The Franchise is frowned upon by many fans and by some over at Galactica Sitrep, though maybe for more commercial reasons I think.  I’ve been blocked a time or two.  Some hosts are better than others, the improbably titled ProgGrll has blocked me before, behaving less proggrressive-ly and with a more Dirk Benedict-like conservatism / original franchise fanaticism then one would be led to believe.  A certain Coo-Coo’s Nest mentality overall at the Sitrep where we the inmates are meant to be appreciative of the facility and work toward rehabilitation, under their supervision.  I, Chief Bromden, delusional though I may be, prefer to go through a wall and escape altogether.)  

Please sit down Mr McMadmonqey. There are rules here at the Sitrep.

Moving on.

A new Buffy the Vampire Slayer without Joss Whedon.  The show ended in 2003.  A “darker” version to compete with Twilight etc?  Leaving aside that Twilight is not at all dark but “dark lite”, Buffy made much of this possible.  Again TV setting the tone for a film franchise is a reversal of the paradigm for money’s sake.  It should be the exception rather than the rule.  Buffy was an excellent TV series but there is more money grubbing here than interest in recreating something with meaning.  I don’t wish it poorly but if expectations are based on another franchise, not on it’s own strengths it’s destined to fail .  

Hits that Sound Alike

Another needless remake of a completely disposable 80’s movie.

Doesn’t this kind of thing happen a lot nowadays? Crappy films on Broadway? Older songs and film remakes? BAD older song and film remakes at that, worse than the original – 20 yrs+ earlier. 

Yet people are still paying (overpaying) for media they can find or see cheaper. Or free! Hell, old band names with new line ups are going out and doing their hits with the integrity of a tribute band. Tweens through baby boomers are  paying for the mangling of their own recycled memories.  It is rare when Hollywood’s penchant for remakes are little more than regurgitated reruns.  Again more TV than film.  Who wants more of the same? 

P.S.  I don’t want to give anyone any ideas, but the next thing you know someone is going to remake “One Flew Over The Coo-Coo’s Nest” as a musical.  Remake, reboot, regurgitate.

See also:

http://madmonq.wordpress.com/2008/03/06/reimagine-repackage-repeat/

http://madmonq.wordpress.com/2008/08/22/reimagine-repackage-repeat-2-the-sequel/

How I Became the Bomb played town last week.  Updated 80s style new-wave pop combined with video game music hook addictiveness and sincere lyrics about relationships etc.  Really good and fun. 

Everything doesn’t have to be filtered through sarcasm. I think it’s OK to do an older style of music so long as it’s unaffected and something new is brought into the mix.  It sort of proves it’s long standing qualities if someone else is able to run with it. 

How I Became the Bomb does that with tongue in cheek and less of the irony that still informs a lot of pop and pop culture.   A musical version of ”The Guild”.  Though Felicia Day seems to have taken care of that as well. 

HIBTB have a polished video but it’s this song that should / will be a hit someday. Yeah. He looks goofy.  After about 2 seconds worth of this you’ll find yourself trying to sing along.  It’s good. 

How I Met the Bomb August 2009 Athens Ga

To take you into your weekend I’ve found this song from Way Back by Positive K.  A classic and a one hit wonder. If the ad companies have their way this’ll be the next one  mined for overuse in chewing gum and weird laundry detergent commercials.  As long as Positive K is happy I guess. 

I’m not tryin to hear that see
I’m not one of those girls that go rippin around
I’m not a dog baby, so don’t play me like a clown
I’ll admit, I like how you kick it
Now you’re talkin baby, dats da ticket
Now don’t get excited and chuck your own in
I already told ya, I got a man
What’s your man got to do with me?
I got a man
I’m not tryin to hear that see
I got a man
What’s your man got to do with me?
I got a man
I’m not tryin to hear that

I think I might make this the theme song for this blog. Silly and braggadocious, kinda catchy, kind of funny.  Strangely hypnotic but mostly bad.  I could be wrong. 

You don’t like me, my blog or choices of song?

You know what’s the problem, ya not used to learnin
I’m Big Daddy Longstroke, and your man’s Pee Wee Herman

So there.

For some reason my blog is not showing the videos I have lovingly, painstakingly posted for your multimedial enjoyment.  I have no explanation for it at this time.   The glitch has also caused all spelling and grammar errors and is to blame for the half baked ideas and overall poor blog execution.

I’ve been trying to fix the problem, but so far no good. My neighbors must’ve heard the cursing and called the police to help.  They weren’t any help at all.  Even with all that extra cursing it still wasn’t enough to fix the computer.  I guess because it was mostly directed at me.  My next bit of trouble shooting will involve smashing the computer to bits.  I don’t think I’ll need police assistance with that as I don’t want it to get out of hand like maybe the yelling thing did. 

My concern is mostly for you, THE VIEWING PUBLIC.  Deprived of my HILARIOUS Dukes of Hazard / Smokey & the Bandit embellishments.  Because they are just that good.  

I hope you, the viewing public, have the good sense to yell at your computer until it obeys your wishes and shows you funny pictures of proper redneck hijinks mixed with political commentary on my damn blog. 

Thank you.

Exhibit A 

7 year old steals parents’ car, runs from the po-po to avoid church.

Sorry.  Wrong outlaw running from the law.  Here it is.

With driving skills like that this kid has to be descended from bootleggers.

You know how the religious and/or other negligent parents are always blaming the media for the terrible things their kids do?   This kid probably saw one of those idiot bumper stickers that said “Warning: In Case of Rapture this Car will be Unmanned” and hoped it’d occur while he was driving.  This way he’d avoid getting into trouble, going to church but would go to heaven.  Bonus points for the spectacular fiery car crash when he went extra-vehicular. 

Of course it was a dumb idea.  No dumber than going to church in the first place.  Fortunately no one was hurt.  Had the kid not been 7, not stolen a car he was unable to drive, his logic was sound.  In this case it won’t be the police who’ll treat him like Rodney King…it’ll be his mom.  Poor thing. 

The part when he jumps out of the car and runs like hell is brilliant.

Misplaced faith will make you believe and do some crazy things.  As evidenced in…

Exhibit B

In some parts of the country it is now legal to kill a man in church.  Or rather that is what some are really really hoping for by passing legislation along those lines.  Pastor Sundance here is a perfect example of the Great American God Complex.  Even though God has obliterated entire cities and killed his own sun, the faithful still need a gun to protect themselves (from Him, sounds like).  Only way to guarantee your opponent is dead, right?  Don’t wanna show any qualities of that mercy thing.  Ew. 

“God and guns were part of the foundation of this country,” Mr. Pagano, 49, said Wednesday in the small brick Assembly of God church, where a large wooden cross hung over the altar and two American flags jutted from side walls. “I don’t see any contradiction in this. Not every Christian denomination is pacifist.”

Then why doesn’t he string an AK 45 around His neck? 

If the church doubled as a deer preserve that might make sense.  Person’s gotta eat.  If it were known for a fact that the place were lousy with terrorists and/or escaped lunatics (Must be.  Why else would Exhibit A was drive away from it like Bo and Luke Duke?) that’d sort of make sense.  I wouldn’t even have a problem with this if we didn’t have a god/gun/psychopath relationship in this country.  Because increasingly it’s people with this pastors’ mentality who are doing the shooting.*

Owning a gun is no different than driving a car.  You should be responsible, licensed, you should be capable and you shouldn’t be an asshole.  Though the last bit is difficult to test for maybe the licensing process will weed a few out.  Want to avoid being shot?  Keep your mouth closed.  Best thing, really.  

Exhibit C

Wis. Dad Trusted God to Heal Sick Daughter

“We just trusted the Lord for complete healing,” he said. “We didn’t really sense it was like a life-and-death situation. We figured there was something really fighting in her body. We asked people to join with us in prayer agreement.”

Neumann said it never crossed his mind that his daughter might have lost consciousness.

“She was just sleeping,” Neumann said. “I didn’t believe at all that the Lord would even allow her to pass.”

Neumann also told the detective that “sickness is a result of sin” and that his daughter’s death had not shaken his faith

Of course the sin was his, not his daughters’.

The best that can be said for this is, this father is lucky he didn’t attend the above pastor’s church.  Otherwise justice might have been served old West style.  Or he would have been congratulated for letting his daughter die.  Fortunately for him the secular courts demonstrated some mercy.  More than what his God would’ve provided.  More than he deserved.

So here is the Great American God Complex question for all great Christians, Christian Americans, American Christians, any idiot who proclaims monotheistic faith,  gun owners and/or those who do not understand these can be mutually exclusive:

Why go to the hospital when faith is supposed to be more than enough? 

If God does issue you a plague, should you pray to him for healing?  Doesn’t that sort of contradict his previous orders? 

What about bullets? 

Does our nose go off when God he pulls a hollow point from our funny bone?    

Is that where the game “Operation” came from?   

Why own a gun when placing your faith in Him is dangerous enough in the first place?  Isn’t this the guy who is famous for plagues, wiping out entire cities with fire, drowning armies in the Red Sea waters and killing His own Son? 

Isn’t that proof enough proof that He can defend you?  Isn’t that the reason (fear) you put your faith in Him?       

I’ll patiently await your answers. 

*It should be noted that I am pro-gun. Not pro-NRA.

In which a cranky person really doesn’t need a reason to dislike something, but Facebook manages to give him  thousands anyway.  

Part Deux

Some of the head wounded, I mean Facebook people (see part I) have trouble maintaining a house cat much less two or more friends at a time. On the internet they are suddenly capable of holding several shallow but steady conversations with 200+ “friends” at the same time, multiplying them like social bunny rabbits. Really? If these people are anything like real life people, you can bet there is more than one grudge being nursed in the dark of the relentlessly cheerful group dynamic. Some old argument that was never quite settled but not allowed to be acknowledged. Meanwhile a malevolent undertone is projected into each other’s status updates.

One of the serious drawbacks of the internet, one I’ve taken advantage of myself: Adopting an internet persona that is difficult to counter. Their justification? 200+ friends, virtual or otherwise are much easier to deal with than the rigors of day to day life. My justification? Voicing my opinion to an audience of negative 50 hits a day, most of which is misdirected porn searches (In review it seems I have even less justification than they do).  What else is a blog for?

200+ people you’ve met in real life know, sure, 200+ “friends” seems a bit of an exaggeration. If I were to dial 50 people at random out of the phonebook could I call them “friends, too? I’d more likely be called “crazy”, but that’d be correct anyway. 100 plus random contact not-actual-friends? Should be called “Phonebook” then, shouldn’t it?  That description is far more accurate and about as personal. 

I believe there is a coming backlash that’ll reduce Facebook from what we know.  The recent loss of Bill Gates and comments by Martha Stewart reveals a trend by baby boomers anyway.  And they like to spend money like tweens (some think they are tweens).  Remember Friendster or Xanga?  Remember MySpace?  Remember how omnipresent it was just 2 years ago?  Now it’s buying ad space in 20 something movies to keep it relevant.  It’s still around obviously but it’s not what it was. A possible future trend?  Maybe that’s just the way the internet works.

I am active on Twitter as madmonq (Please join me!). Those who do know me are people I generally like. I can talk to them or not without recrimination. The rest of my “followers” joined not to increase their virtual standings but of their own volition.   Twitter is more interdependently oriented, whereas My PhoneSpaceFaceBookFace is like a giant virtual perpetual pep rally where the geek and jock, cat and dog are forced to live in harmony together. If not you’ll get the sort of judgey disapproval from those whose approval you never wanted nor sought in the first place.

It might be a little hard to believe but there are lots of people I really like on Facebook, too. It and Twitter have helped me re-establish contact with a handful of people I genuinely love. That much is true. As in real life so the internet, I like to reserve my energy for nice people. Well meaning and not annoying. I’d rather not sacrifice my sense of well being to the the meta-happiness engines that drives its success and won’t be satisfied unless I do. I don’t believe my friends require it of me and I don’t of them. I only require them to be happy or sad as they see fit. 

The internet tends to distort things beyond recognition. The compulsory cheerfulness inherent to Facebook turns it into a glam rock happy freak show fest that would turn the stomach of any decent circus carny. I am far more committed to this present crankiness than reliving the past with well meaning but aggravating people.

Fifteen reason to quit Facebook.  A mini review of parts 1 and 2.  Only less ranty.

*Stabby could easily take out Sleepy and replace him within the dwarves’ perverse monastic order of nominative determinatives. Being Sleepy was doing just that most of the time it’d be weeks before the others noticed his absence. Instead of sleeping with the dwarves, Sleepy would sleep with the fishes.

(In which your humble author is mostly kidding but not really)

…and thus spend as little time on it as possible. I was harassed into participating by people I know and trust. Now I must re-evaluate everything I think about them and myself.

There are many many lovely people that I am glad of their friendship. Fakebook enables everyone everywhere to appear that way too, no matter how detestable they are. It  breaks down the wall between a face to face friend and the people you’d rather avoid in real life.

As my human alter ego (not ‘madmonq’) I will send representatives in the form of news articles or goofy videos clips. Otherwise I’m not sure that I’m bringing anything useful to the table. I am far too cranky to deal with the sort of assumed high school level glee, the sort of fake camaraderie affected by many of its participants and best left to high school reunions and years past.

Facebook thrives on a blunt force faux-happiness usually assigned to cheerleaders that, as an adult, I want to nothing to do with. It’s the sort of cheerfulness expected when two clearly miserable people announce their engagement. — the kind necessary when she is too needy and he’s dick. “Oh really?? Well that’s great!!!”.  Secretly you are now pissed you have to buy this future divorce a wedding present.  Such is the continued awkward social bind you’ll repeatedly find yourself in on the Facebook.

Ass-Facebook registration brought me in contact with a host of people, past and present, that I never thought I’d hear from again.  Old high school friends, work associates and relatives.  Some of were never really friends, were annoying , I haven’t seen them in years and suddenly! they want to be “friends”! No they don’t and no I can’t. FaceSpace has placed me in the ordinarily avoidable position of being fake, ignoring “friend” requests (Which makes me look like an asshole. I’m not saying that I’m not) or actively ignoring False -Facebook altogether. I’ve chosen a combination of all three with mixed results.

High School Friends!!!

The most pernicious sect of the FaceSpace cult: Relatively nice people from high school. Really. They are very nice but we were never as close as they think. I have little patience for “Remember the time…??” No I don’t and, in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t the sort of life changing “Breakfast Club” moment they remember it to be. Unlike others, I truly don’t hold them any ill will. I just wish them some sort of temporary ill that’ll prevent them from contacting me again with anything less than basic punctuation. Like a small head wound.

Coworkers!!!

I would like my coworkers to take a head injury too, but only seriously enough where they’d forget my name but not forget they have to work. Anything more would just mean more work for me. They have to be functional enough to come to work and remember the good work- related gossip.  Or at minimum, be functional enough to believe anything I’d tell them.  I don’t want to gossip about work on the internet. I want to gossip about work at work, where I’m being paid for it. Otherwise it can wait until the next business day.  It’s probably not the best idea to tell all your business on the Facepuss anyway, dummy.  At work.  Especially before you get hired.  (I have a lot of requirement of my head traumatized work associates).

Relatives!!!

The previous dissociative events should tell you that I sort of avoid my extended family. There are good reasons for that. I thought that avoiding them altogether would be pretty much deliver the passive/aggressive message: Leave me alone. You are annoying. Then SpaceFace came along.   After BookFace contact had been made, old family roles are assumed, refitted and retrofitted like an easter suit long outgrown. I learned to have no expectations of this particular group and for years they’ve lived up to them, why stop now? 

This is a group that could best serve by taking taking a serious head injury and forgetting I ever existed. They’ve gone as far as not taking a serious head injury just to spite me. BookFace has allowed them to resume their familial duty of pestering me over a long distance. As is the habit of unpleasant people, they think I am overjoyed to hear from them. I don’t know if you can tell or not, But This Is Not the Case.

You’d think general cantankerousness and a head injury would be enough to scare people away from bothering me on the UglyFaceBook. It should be but it’s not. Social networking sites don’t play to its strengths. It instead provides a buffer that allows people to believe it’s OK to harass their “friends” with repeated requests for Harry Potter personality quizzes (I am probably the most evil one. Dumbledore, is it?). Or which of the Seven Dwarfs you are (If he existed I’d be Stabby. Stabby Dwarf.*).

Continued in Part II. 

Some things, in my humbled opinion, need a head injury in order for our great society to progress toward tomorrow.  Sometimes it’s just me that acts as if I am head injured or is in need of head injury.

I am frequently unable to place in words the great passion I feel for some of the ills in our society.  So much so that when I try I word things perhaps a little strongly, less humorously than intended and can be long winded.  It can be exhausting for all involved.  For that I am sorry.

I will allow a funny new (to me) British sitcom my bright talented intelligent wife found on the Netflix Xbox instant download do it for me.  It’s called “The IT Crowd” and it is funny.  No thanks are necessary.  It’s included in the price. If anyone please thank my gorgeous wife.

All in all Facebook is just good wholesome family entertainment. And it Isn’t. At all. Like. A dark and disgusting black and plastic carapace covering your mouth and nose until you admit what fun it is to rediscover people & relatives you haven’t seen in years.  And what a good time you are having with everyone.  On the Facebook!

I am too lazy to reword what I’ve already said.  So I’ll let Twitter do what I can’t: Rant and rave in the short and the sweet.  The extended screaming of some genuinely talented, some spoiled and overly dramatic people which was the Tony awards.  Sponsored in part by Folgers Coffee.  Folgers Coffee?  If you are watching a Folgers commercial doesn’t that mean you are up way past your manditory bedtime at the senior center?  

Beginning with

Billy Elliot on Broadway? Let’s pair him versus The Lord of the Dance Micheal Flatley & see who gets their ass kicked.

The death of Rock and Roll.

What the fuck is this crap on my television? Rock of Ages? I didn’t think (80’s) hair band rock could be dumbed down any further. Christ this hurts

Bret Micheal got knocked down during the Tony openers. You will hear about it for the next 6 months. He didn’t get killed so I’m not interested

Ah. Now Gandolfini will kill Bret Micheals on live television…

Rock of Ages. I almost prefer the church hymn to songs of my youth recycled through someones lower intestine.

Re: Hair - The Broadway revival 

Fucking Hippies.

I believe I can smell them through the television

(Singing) Fuck. Old hippies. That’s why your kids tell you to shut the fuck up

OK.  Not really the death of Rock & Roll.  Rather the exhumation of parts best left buried.  Most of those bands were honestly very terrible or short lived.  I do love Journey in an un-ironic way, though.

Wanna see good media about a flash-in-the-pan trend, watch any of the 70s disco movies (“Thank God It’s Friday” or “Car Wash”.  Although Car Wash would probably make an awesome Broadway show).  The chronological pop culture  equivalent to 80’s hair bands is the “Porky’s” movies.  Though I don’t want to give anyone anymore Broadway ideas. 

A revival of “Hair” is last masturbatory gasp of the failed Boomer generation before their last Viagra causes that inevitable final heart attack, rendering them completely impotent.  Note to the past about Free Love and “Hair”:  That’s why 90% of porn stars now shave themselves bald.

Some praise

Dolly Parton is a saint. A giant boobed saint. What was I saying? Oh yeah. A saint

It’s Dr Dougie Horrible (Neal Patrick Harris). Another f’in saint.

Less praiseworthy

Tim Meadows is in Shrek? Should have never left SNL. Oh. AND WHY IS SHREK A BROADWAY PLAY?

The girl from Spaced got beat out by Angela Lansbury? C’mon. At least she’ll be on hand to solve the Bret Micheal murder.

If your going to have Uncle Jesse & Bret Micheals on Broadway, why not have “Full House” as a crappy play?

Austen Powers:The Musical! The zany energy of Austin Powers & the awesome grrl “power” of Jane Austen.& it’s British so it’s classy! Get it?

How do overly dramatic people handle other overly dramatic people?They seem to have an average life span.Not dramatically enough evidently.

“I love legitimate theater!”

How could I have forgotten this Simpson episode?  Sort of sums things up nicely.   

Does it bother no one that reruns are replacing new content?  I love escapism and I love nostalgia.  But I’d rather be pulled out of myself to a different world.  Or at least a new take on a familiar theme.  Not more deeply ensconced in my own fantasies.  “Wicked” versus “Wizard of Oz”.  Battlestar Galactica 1978 versus Battlestar Galactica 2003.   ”Redbelt” by David Mamet and less “Glengarry Glen Ross” or “Speed the Plow” though it looks well done. 

As of this blog entry Bret Michaels is still alive and being mistaken for a rock star.  And a Broadway star.