America’s Next Top Dominatrix: Conehead Vs Bonehead Vs Pinhead

 

 Left Take:: Sarah Palin & Coneheads. Separated at Birth?

That would be a compliment.  The Coneheaded people of the planet Remulak are meant to be superintelligent.  I’m afraid that despite her hair bump describing Sarah Palin as  regular-intelligent would be a stretch.  In fact New Jersey styled big hair is practically a birth defect among most earthers  (Excluding the Birthers.  Amongst them a bone in your head is practically a requirement.   And if you are a New Jersey Birther, YOUR HEADS ARE MADE OF A DISGUSTING SOLID BONE / HAIR COMBINATION.  YOU ARE PRACTICALLY KLINGON).

Bone head...

...Or head bump. You decide.

Whereas Mrs Palin’s head, that bump is all bone.  My long-standing crush for Ms. Jane Curtin would not allow me to say anything else.  The deeply disturbed but truly hilarious Tracy Morgan may think otherwise and be turned on by her Neanderthal head.  I guess you don’t need an egg-shaped head to be a bonehead.  Mepps!

No signature red Sarah Palin jacket on Tracy in this photo, right?

Later he's seen wearing it. With Sarah Palin. I'm just saying.

My final guess is that Sarah Palin is a Pinhead.  Not in the Bill O’Reilly 1970s tough cop bullsh!t style but in the most upsetting combination of stupid evil.  She is  Zippy the Pinhead meets Pinhead of the Cenobites.  Bonehead, Conehead or Pinhead Sarah Palin will tear. Your soul.  Apart.

Two Batmen and a Wolverine

I stole this from a Russian website who seems to be frequenting mine for the same reason.  It’s a cool image nonetheless. 

I’m guessing this artist had never heard of Dark Claw, who is not only an evil bunny but Wolverine and Batmancombined as shown then quickly forgotten in Amalgam Comics from a few years ago.  Despite combination of awesomeness I think the name “Dark Claw” was a little silly.  So is Darkwing but I wouldn’t mess with him either.

Artist Timothy Sinclair brings the smart and funny.  The utility belt would have been great had it been made of his empties.  Could have used them to hold his cigar butts.

What would Batman and Wolverine talk about in a bar?  Growing up in a mansion?  Losing their parents at an early age?  What a silly name “Dark Claw” is?  A predilection for teenagers in red and yellow tights?  Grant Morrison?  When you get to this point maybe the meta-jokes get a bit out of hand.

The Funky Drummer Boy

 

“My Little Drum.”  One of the overlooked songs from Vince Guaraldi’s “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, Guaraldi’s . Variations on “The Little Drummer Boy.”  I love the monastic boombastic of the original, Guaraldi’s is more funky & soulful than anyone other than he could imagine at the time. A Christmas samba. Guaraldi and Charles Schulz inform the modern day suburban creative sect (AKA the hipster) when they are at their best and far more than they’ll ever admit.

Vinnie G

Listening to the Vince Guaraldi channel on Last.FM/Xbox I can plainly hear that the slope created by be-bop in the 1950s to modern day easy listening music. “Lite” jazz, Kenny G, new age music and the even more dreaded world beat.  Listen to Herb Alpert and you’ll hear what kind of monster it’s created. The cheese pouring forth pretty much created the hotel lounge act industry and appears to have inspired every porn soundtrack you’ve ever heard.  Only not in a good way. Herb Alpert defines the trappings of the hipster: A complete lack of style and/or talent covered in cheese and hubris.  The point is, I’m trying to teach the babies something even by osmosis. I think Vince Guaraldi is a good start. I hope they like it.

Guccioni or Not Bob Guccioni

Herb Alpert or Not Herb Alpert

Bonus: What do you get when you cross the “The Little Drummer Boy” with “My Little Drum?”  I think you know. 

The Bing & The Bowie that’s what.  I mean, Bing Crosby is more bad ass than Herb Alpert.  And he’s dead.  Der Bingle, that is.  Herb Alpert less so.

Bonus Bonus! 

Will Ferrell sounds less like David Bowie and more like a James Lipton with a mullet.   

 

Bonus Bonus Bonus!

  

That’s right.  James Brown “The Funky Drummer.”  The funk that Guaraldi, Bing or Bowie can only dream of. I’d suggest that you don’t sit through the whole song.  It’s 9 minutes long and despite the name, the Funk gets pretty boring after a while.

 

 

 

Xmas Cheese

 

Art Rock of Love

The Artist Formerly Known as “The Star Child“

The Paintings Formerly known as Blank Canvases

Part of the joy in sharing this is the fact that he had a “show” at the Wentworth Art Gallery at the Riverside Square Mall in Hackensack NJ.

For those of you who don’t know, an art show opening at the Riverside Square Mall is a little like the ribbon cutting ceremony at a local supermarket. I worked at that supermarket for a while. Made me wish Lex Luthor was successful in 1979. Good for Hackensack, bad for Paul Stanley.

I wonder if he went to the Couch House Diner across the highway afterward? Or got an after hours tour of the U.S.S. Ling? At least he’s not wearing a babushka on his head pretending he’s not bald.

Please to enjoy the tackiness.

Happy Valentime’s Day

Well Meant Misogyny

She’s so hot…BOOM!

I’m Not Crying

Where the music, humor and ugly of the Tenacious D, The BeeGees, Demetri Martin and Lord of the Rings intersect is where Flight of the Conchords meet.

A QVC Exclusive!

Deluxe Jesus Nativity Snow Globe

• Super glued onto quality scrap wood
• Detailed headless angel
• Some of the animals and wise men from the classic nativity scene
• Precious wind up music box theme “Silent Night”
• Battery pack innovation that provides a 9 volt approximation of God’s power (not included)
  
• Special Bonus enclosed Holy Family snow globe
• Just like the original Christmas!
• Price: Priceless
• Shipping & Handling: $7.22
• Save! Buy two or more and save on S & H
• Note: Drinking the Deluxe Jesus Nativity Snow Globe water will not result in super powers and may cause death. Probably.

My wife and I found this beauty at the local mega-Goodwill store. It had all the features listed but even better in real life. We appreciated the idea of someone combining several great American institutions. Christmas, commercialism, snow globes and a little love. It looks like a sincere effort. You ask: Why would someone give this away? My guess is that they lost it. Just turn baby Jesus upside down and shake him until he develops seizures. Lose yourself in the realistic glitter snow falling on Nazareth during the first Christmas.

cityscape

Photos by Peter Morgan

Tokyo City Hall

Noodle Shop

Fading Glory

St Paul’s Cathedral London

Soul and Spirit

Examining the Icons

Urban Decay

Art Deco Auditorium

Shanghi Skyscape