I’ve been watching some of the shows that have gone back into production during the writers strike. Letterman, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report and something else I can’t remember.

Watching Jon Stewart work without writers was a lot like watching an injured dog writhe in pain. Upsetting. The air was thick with silence where laughter used to be. In desperation he made a “Cocoon” reference that might have been funny 20 years ago or if Wilford Brimley were in the audience (For anyone born in the past 20 year and doesn’t know what a “Cocoon ” is, look it up. It launched the career of Jessica Tandy. (Look it up)). For a second Stewart looked like a wizened old man himself, with holes at the elbow of his sweater. People laughed, but more out of his effort than results. His political sense and decency appear even sharper in contrast. He sliced up some neocon (I think) that justified the previous 20 minutes of the show. I like “Meet the Press” but only on Sundays and not by accident. Otherwise I wanted to back my car over him to relieve the discomfort of the onlookers. It was that bad.

Stephen Colbert managed to overcome the awkward silence by force of charm. He grinned a lot, rolled out props, went extravehicular and did a tour of the Smithsonian. The show is not as watchable as before but still watchable. Gone is the difficult and self-righteous, bombastic and egotistical parody of far right punditry. He was replaced by someone more like your favorite middle school teacher acting crazy to keep your attention. What’s left is a little like the man behind the curtain. He’s appealing in his own right but what you really want the is the Wizard. No body beats the Wiz.

Both Colbert and Stewart seem to have lost their booking agents too. The first few guests on both shows were political and science authors. Historians and the like are a little easier to make fun of, maybe that was the point? Still, I don’t get much pleasure watching baby seals get clubbed.

Letterman’s show is exactly the same. Which is to say not good. Shaving the strike beard helped.

Jane Espenson is a brilliant writer. Star Trek: TNG, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly and Battlestar Galactica. She’s helped make sci-fi appealing to a larger audience. She is not so brilliant to suggest donations for the striking writers. While I’m a fan of their cause, Norma Wray it aint. They’ve more than earned their share of Internet profits, but we’re not talking about manual labor and safety conditions within the chicken plant here.

If the strike continues, the writers will be replaced by fan fiction writers. The worst kind of scab. The flop sweat on Jon Stewart’s face suggested that was his next move. Your favorite web-site’s troll may have control over the fate of “Grey’s Anatomy”. It could move into the arena of slash fiction. Said troll will rename it, “Grey Gardens Anatomy” and the plot will revolve around “Little Edie” Beale getting it on with her shock therapist in a mental hospital. The Golden Girls and Ted McGinty will fill out the cast. The show will improve over the old by 2000 percent. My first five scripts are ready to go.

I want the writers demands met. My motivations aren’t 100% true but if their content is being used in any form, they should get paid for it. If the aforementioned shows are any indication, society will eventually ground to a halt without them. I’ll show you why.

I want the writers and Hollywood executives to glimpse the future. If this doesn’t sober them to the coming storm then they’re all dead inside. Like we’ll all be if this strike continues. Ask yourselves this you studio execs and striking writers; Is this what I want?

P.S. When Gray’s Anatomy Gardens is successful, I have plans for a spin off called “Gray Goose Golden Girls Palace Gardens” The Movie. The cross marketing profits will be staggering. Now I kind of hope the strike lasts. Just a bit longer.