Help! Someone help! Shut up, you old bag!
Seinfeld has a lot of food related episodes or in the parlance “What is the deal with all the food episodes?” Soup Nazi, Mendies, dinner with the Ross’s, Elaine’s muffin top scheme, an entire episode dedicated to not eating and Monk’s. Two of them specifically deal with swirly breads: the marble rye incident and the black and white cookie.
Left Take:: Sarah Palin & Coneheads. Separated at Birth?
That would be a compliment. The Coneheaded people of the planet Remulak are meant to be superintelligent. I’m afraid that despite her hair bump describing Sarah Palin as regular-intelligent would be a stretch. In fact New Jersey styled big hair is practically a birth defect among most earthers (Excluding the Birthers. Amongst them a bone in your head is practically a requirement. And if you are a New Jersey Birther, YOUR HEADS ARE MADE OF A DISGUSTING SOLID BONE / HAIR COMBINATION. YOU ARE PRACTICALLY KLINGON).
Bone head...
...Or head bump. You decide.
Whereas Mrs Palin’s head, that bump is all bone. My long-standing crush for Ms. Jane Curtin would not allow me to say anything else. The deeply disturbed but truly hilarious Tracy Morgan may think otherwise and be turned on by her Neanderthal head. I guess you don’t need an egg-shaped head to be a bonehead. Mepps!
No signature red Sarah Palin jacket on Tracy in this photo, right?
Later he's seen wearing it. With Sarah Palin. I'm just saying.
My final guess is that Sarah Palin is a Pinhead. Not in the Bill O’Reilly 1970s tough cop bullsh!t style but in the most upsetting combination of stupid evil. She is Zippy the Pinhead meets Pinhead of the Cenobites. Bonehead, Conehead or Pinhead Sarah Palin will tear. Your soul. Apart.
I am reading one of the many lists of events from the past year. One of them is the list of significant or important deaths in the year 2010. I’d already forgotten that Leslie Nielson had died. That’s probably because I thought he was dead already. Anyone else have this experience? Where is the list of people you though were dead already?
I am always shocked to learn that Ernest Borgnine is still alive. If so they need to get on a “The Black Hole” remake or sequel or whatever Pretty Damn Quick or else miss that window of opportunity (such as it is). Also Mariane McPartland? Isn’t she dead? And if she isn’t, why isn’t she? She hasn’t been on “Piano Jazz” in like forever & when she is you feel like it could happen at any moment. What about Adam Ant? If not by natural causes then by embarrassment? Also all of those poor Chilean miners. I also keep thinking Patti Smith is dead. Then I hear about some accolade she’s received for whatever god awful terrible crap she’s done. As soon as it’s over I go back to thinking, immediately and assuredly, that she is dead. Again.
Joey Ramone is dead.
Patti Smith is not. Do you see the problem I am having?
My wife is always claiming American newsperson Tom Brokaw is dead when we we come to realize it was Peter Jennings all along and that he died a long time ago. I guess the whole newscaster, haircut, suit, newscaster thing sort of blurs the lines. And either Bernie Mac or George Lopez is dead. Though one of them has a talk show before Conan O’Brian so I suppose I should check it out. Also I heard Jay Leno was dead. Or was that ”The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”? Or maybe the whole ”dead” thing was a metaphor for Jay killing “The Tonight Show” after all of his whining. Right. Steve Guttenberg is another. Wouldn’t be a good guest on “The Tonight Show” or Bernie Mac’s talk show either, I guess.
Why don’t I check the interet to see who is alive/dead? This is why. The internet is confusing and lies to me.
List of people I always think are still alive but are still dead: Charles Schulz, Bea Arthur, Ray Charles, Pat Morita and Scatman Crothers. I always think Charles Schulz is still alive. I guess because his strip still sees regular print. I wish the Scatman were still alive but he isn’t. A price had to be paid for appearing in the film Zapped! An appropriate but terrible price, nontheless.
Hey there, Scatman you sure you wanna do that movie with that Baio kid?
What does it mean if I don’t think this is half bad? If you can’t stand this watch “The Office” or “Extras” on HBO. And when I say “The Office” I don’t mean the completely-missing-the-point NBC version with the same name. I mean the British show that was on the BBC, now on video.
If you are fans of “Curb Your Enthusiam” you’ll probably like the The Office and Extras. Lots of situation appropriate cursing and awkward situations. If not, then you’ve got to be wondering “What’s wrong with this guy?” Both groups will be right
Further identifications include foot tapping as their primary means of communication. Vehement protestations from family and clergy as confirmation.
Watch Tina Fey go from neurotic, frumpy, cute and smart girl to beautiful, simple, sophisticated, smart babe (with her inner neurotic frump shining through. Sophisticated may be stretching it a bit). Watch the star of Who Dat Ninja? and President Homeboy, Tracy Jordan chase Conan O’Brian with a knife. Paul Rubens makes a guest appearance as the inbred, German prince love interest of show star Jenna Maroney. Rachel Dracht comes with more uses than a swiss army knife.
The show is a combination of Arrested Development, Mary Tyler Moore, Sex in the City, the Odd Couple, That Girl and any of the good Woody Allen movies. What’s not to like?
Season 2 starts, Thursday on October 4th at 8:30 pm. Better time slot for a really good show. You know how you get mad when your favorite show gets cancelled? Please don’t let that happen to 30 Rock. Think about it. Any show that could come up with the phrase “Honky Grandma Be Trippin’” has got to be good.
White Diamonds.
