America’s Next Top Dominatrix: Conehead Vs Bonehead Vs Pinhead

 

 Left Take:: Sarah Palin & Coneheads. Separated at Birth?

That would be a compliment.  The Coneheaded people of the planet Remulak are meant to be superintelligent.  I’m afraid that despite her hair bump describing Sarah Palin as  regular-intelligent would be a stretch.  In fact New Jersey styled big hair is practically a birth defect among most earthers  (Excluding the Birthers.  Amongst them a bone in your head is practically a requirement.   And if you are a New Jersey Birther, YOUR HEADS ARE MADE OF A DISGUSTING SOLID BONE / HAIR COMBINATION.  YOU ARE PRACTICALLY KLINGON).

Bone head...

...Or head bump. You decide.

Whereas Mrs Palin’s head, that bump is all bone.  My long-standing crush for Ms. Jane Curtin would not allow me to say anything else.  The deeply disturbed but truly hilarious Tracy Morgan may think otherwise and be turned on by her Neanderthal head.  I guess you don’t need an egg-shaped head to be a bonehead.  Mepps!

No signature red Sarah Palin jacket on Tracy in this photo, right?

Later he's seen wearing it. With Sarah Palin. I'm just saying.

My final guess is that Sarah Palin is a Pinhead.  Not in the Bill O’Reilly 1970s tough cop bullsh!t style but in the most upsetting combination of stupid evil.  She is  Zippy the Pinhead meets Pinhead of the Cenobites.  Bonehead, Conehead or Pinhead Sarah Palin will tear. Your soul.  Apart.

To All Who Have Gone Before Us in 2010 (maybe)

I am reading one of the many lists of events from the past year.  One of them is the list of significant or important deaths in the year 2010.  I’d already forgotten that Leslie Nielson had died. That’s probably because I thought he was dead already.  Anyone else have this experience?  Where is the list of people you though were dead already?

I am always shocked to learn that Ernest Borgnine is still alive. If so they need to get on a “The Black Hole” remake or sequel or whatever Pretty Damn Quick  or else miss that window of opportunity (such as it is).  Also Mariane McPartland? Isn’t she dead?  And if she isn’t, why isn’t she?  She hasn’t been on “Piano Jazz” in like forever & when she is you feel like it could happen at any moment. What about Adam Ant?  If not by natural causes then by embarrassment?  Also all of those poor Chilean miners.  I also keep thinking Patti Smith is dead.  Then I hear about some accolade she’s received for whatever god awful terrible crap she’s done.  As soon as it’s over I go back to thinking, immediately and assuredly, that she is dead.  Again. 

Joey Ramone is dead.

Patti Smith is not. Do you see the problem I am having?

My wife is always claiming American newsperson Tom Brokaw is dead when we we come to realize it was Peter Jennings all along and that he died a long time ago.  I guess the whole newscaster, haircut, suit, newscaster thing sort of blurs the lines.  And either Bernie Mac or George Lopez is dead.  Though one of them has a talk show before Conan O’Brian so I suppose I should check it out.  Also I heard Jay Leno was dead.  Or was that ”The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”?  Or maybe the whole ”dead” thing was a metaphor for Jay killing “The Tonight Show” after all of his whining.   Right.  Steve Guttenberg is another.  Wouldn’t be a good guest on “The Tonight Show” or Bernie Mac’s talk show either, I guess.   

Why don’t I check the interet to see who is alive/dead?  This is why.  The internet is confusing and lies to me.

List of people I always think are still alive but are still dead:  Charles Schulz, Bea Arthur, Ray Charles, Pat Morita and Scatman Crothers.  I always think Charles Schulz is still alive.  I guess because his strip still sees regular print.  I wish the Scatman were still alive but he isn’t.  A price had to be paid for appearing in the film Zapped!  An appropriate but terrible price, nontheless.

Hey there, Scatman you sure you wanna do that movie with that Baio kid?

19th Century Ipod

Archive.com.  All kinds of media from original 78 or cylinder recordings to books and film.  Most are so old they’ve past into public domain.  Some pretty much lost until someone saved them here.  Newer content can be uploaded onto the site but it’s the old stuff that fascinates me. 

Old recording from the early 1900′s

Gutenberg.org.  If you always wanted to steal Bram Stoker’s Dracula and release it as your own you can now.  It’s also in the public domain and can be downloaded for free.  Along with about 100,000 print items.  Everything Shakespeare has ever written or alleged to have written is here, too. 

Hollywood mines the public domain so they don’t have to pay royalties.  Will Smith has made a movie based on the book “I am Legend.”  Don’t waste your money.  This will be the better of the two.

Both sites are maintained by donation.  It’s kind of scary to think of all those resources being lost. I think we’re getting the better part of the bargain.  

Thank god for edutainment.  Otherwise I wouldn’t learn anything.