America’s Next Top Dominatrix: Conehead Vs Bonehead Vs Pinhead

 

 Left Take:: Sarah Palin & Coneheads. Separated at Birth?

That would be a compliment.  The Coneheaded people of the planet Remulak are meant to be superintelligent.  I’m afraid that despite her hair bump describing Sarah Palin as  regular-intelligent would be a stretch.  In fact New Jersey styled big hair is practically a birth defect among most earthers  (Excluding the Birthers.  Amongst them a bone in your head is practically a requirement.   And if you are a New Jersey Birther, YOUR HEADS ARE MADE OF A DISGUSTING SOLID BONE / HAIR COMBINATION.  YOU ARE PRACTICALLY KLINGON).

Bone head...

...Or head bump. You decide.

Whereas Mrs Palin’s head, that bump is all bone.  My long-standing crush for Ms. Jane Curtin would not allow me to say anything else.  The deeply disturbed but truly hilarious Tracy Morgan may think otherwise and be turned on by her Neanderthal head.  I guess you don’t need an egg-shaped head to be a bonehead.  Mepps!

No signature red Sarah Palin jacket on Tracy in this photo, right?

Later he's seen wearing it. With Sarah Palin. I'm just saying.

My final guess is that Sarah Palin is a Pinhead.  Not in the Bill O’Reilly 1970s tough cop bullsh!t style but in the most upsetting combination of stupid evil.  She is  Zippy the Pinhead meets Pinhead of the Cenobites.  Bonehead, Conehead or Pinhead Sarah Palin will tear. Your soul.  Apart.

Two Batmen and a Wolverine

I stole this from a Russian website who seems to be frequenting mine for the same reason.  It’s a cool image nonetheless. 

I’m guessing this artist had never heard of Dark Claw, who is not only an evil bunny but Wolverine and Batmancombined as shown then quickly forgotten in Amalgam Comics from a few years ago.  Despite combination of awesomeness I think the name “Dark Claw” was a little silly.  So is Darkwing but I wouldn’t mess with him either.

Artist Timothy Sinclair brings the smart and funny.  The utility belt would have been great had it been made of his empties.  Could have used them to hold his cigar butts.

What would Batman and Wolverine talk about in a bar?  Growing up in a mansion?  Losing their parents at an early age?  What a silly name “Dark Claw” is?  A predilection for teenagers in red and yellow tights?  Grant Morrison?  When you get to this point maybe the meta-jokes get a bit out of hand.

Monty Python’s Furry Circus

How the hell did Monty Python know about it?   This clip is like 40 years old and filmed on another continent.    Evidently they’re not only still funny but a bit more clairvoyant than they let on. 

Translation: Dragon*Con is in town this weekend.  As some of you may know my wife & I had twins a few months ago.  They are funner than Dragon Con, about as expensive as the entrance price (only every day) and currently weigh as much as I can carry in comics.  Comics that will eventually be worth the price of a used diaper.  Babies also involve only slightly less cosplay and Leonard Nimoy will definately will not make an apperance at your home for less than $10,000 and a full figured lady of his choosing.  Otherwise, just like Dragon*Con. 

Only we cannot attend.  Probably not attend.  What happen is when you have kids, that means you’ve evidently reached your independant fun/freedom limit for the next 20-30 years.  It’s also no place for very young babies where the crowds swell to near Chinese in proportion.  Twin newborns sort of makes us feel that way nearly every day.  In a good way.

Batgirl and Man 2008.  Courteousy of Rob

A Care Bear and not some sort of pervy anime as was my first guess. Courteousy of anitasarkeesian

Original Wonder Girl and Black Manta in a hotel lobby walk of shame

The comedy stylings of Shatner & Nimoy on the big screen. 

Dragon*Con, or almost any themed convention I suppose, can make you feel like Bicycle Repair Man: Special for being normal while surrounded by the sublime*.  And I mean that in a good way.

*Crikey.  With all the Viking costumes, Bishop get ups and other cross dressing, Monty Python’s Flying Circus practically invented Cosplay and making fun of Cosplayers.  Decades before the Tron Guy**.

 

**Tron Guy not appearing at Dragon*Con this year.  Unless Chad Vader drops out.  Sorry.

Hell is for Robots

Artoo’s got problems. After this PSA was made, he gateway-ed from smoking cigarettes to heroin. Yes just like they taught you in high school. He thinks he can quit anytime. Not only does he have to feed the dragon, he doesn’t have the money he owes his dealer and is depressed over the last 3 Star Wars movies. I know how he feels. I had to watch those movies. We both felt a little dirty afterward.

The Three Laws Of Robotics by Warren Ellis

1. Robots couldn’t really give a fuck if you live or die. Seriously. I mean, what are you thinking? “Ooh, I must protect the bag of meat at all costs because I couldn’t possibly plug in the charger all on my own.” Shut the fuck up.
2. Robots do not want to have sex with you. Are you listening, Japan? I don’t have a clever comparative simile for this, because frankly you bags of meat will fuck bicycles if they’re laying down and not putting up a fight. Just stop it. There is no robot on Earth that wants to see a bag of meat with a small prong on the end approaching it with a can of WD-40 and a hopeful smile. And don’t get me started on that terrifying hole that squeezes out more bags of meat.
3. What, you can’t count higher than three? We’re expected to save your miserable lives, suffer being dressed in cheap schoolgirl costumes while you pollute any and all cavities you can find and do your maths for you? It’s a miracle you people survived long enough to build us. You can go now.

Robots, robot hell, regular hell and the musicals inspired by them aren’t that different, apparently. They can take on many forms and can only be the creation of it’s owner.

Sort of more frightening that way, isn’t it?